Entrust Love

I hope everyone is having an amazing break. Today is a day to rejoice. To be with friends and family. To be with the people that love you most. Remember that life is short. We are reprimanded for trying to make things swell, so please don't be quick to judge. I know its tough to love, but It can make lives better. We are on break, so rejoice and stop the hate. We are born to love. This heart full of love though was not meant to last. They blamed us for betraying our past. That person we were, when we were young, has fled and now reborn at last. No human breaths love, but no human deserves to be burned by the word tainted with smut. At last we are reborn, but this animal we are reborn into is not a two legged feline, nor a two legged citizen. We born as a two legged red beast that wears horns above. We should repudiate ourselves from these selfish ways. Make ways for a new generation; a generation bound by a thing known trust, so entrust yourself with a new four letter word. This word is not new to your ears, but only to your heart. Love should be a new form of praise, so rejoice on this blessed day make love and then give it away.

Cheerful Exterior. Malicious Interior

            Somewhere beneath the sultry skin of an apple lies a soul. As humans, we feel a lack of  connection for soul.  Soul to me is something that people cannot see nor is it what we can attest to. Soul is a power that overwhelms us into feeling for things. A lot of people can attest though to the beauty and tenderness of an apple, and that to me is soul. Refuge is one of the feelings that most cannot see when it comes to a simple apple; it was as if they were blind to it.  The truth is that refuge can be one of three different things: protecting myself from the outside world (the dictionary definition that I have created for refuge), the greatness it actually possesses, or even the perception of weakness that, at times, we humans all possess. It was not until I stared into the depth of my lunch sack and caught an apple with my gaze, that I had realized that refuge had broadened my understanding of what an asylum really was.

            I feel heart ache every time I wonder about freedom and success, but with a bounty so amazing why not think? Though this train of thought felt like an asylum, it was just a bounty known as apple. This is a bounty that's red exterior, emulates everything great. I lay down on that bench and then took a bite of bliss. The taste could have emulated sin, honestly indescribable.  

 As stories go, Adam and Eve grazed onto this same crimson red apple millions of years ago and they found that its taste was bound by sin. Some might also say that this is Gods endless bounty, but as I too gaze into this apple I find a sympathetic heart pondering back at me. With a mesmerizing look like the glare you see when the water is dead still in a lake, a reflection one cannot deny. What shall I say when this light blinds me in the eye and such beauty is taken away? Will the redness in my check appear as bloody as the silky glaze covering the apple? These are the questions I ponder upon when I stared into the heart of a blood soaked apple. But even refuge might not look like an apple at all times, when the apples reddish exterior had parted the layers beneath revealed a mushy wave of trouble. It reveals stories some may neglect due to painful experiences or accidents with the true intention of never looking back. But, the feeling I got when I poured my soul into this apple was mutually the feeling of another type of refuge as well as a mutual feeling with the many others who have experienced this once before. It was a heart wrenching level inside of my heart dropping to its lowest point yet. And in the end refuge still lies with the beholder. No matter what makes you see it, be that apple you ate, or that person you met, refuge still makes you free just like the sons of liberty. 

A Bientot, Salam, Shalom, and A Final Goodbye.

I woke up to a bright light beaming down into my eyes. The light just shone brighter and brighter, as I started rise. I heard noises around me. I looked around trying to figure out what had happened, but everything was still a blur. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't hear anything either. I thought I was going blind and deaf. I felt crazy, but yet peaceful. Must have been the drugs that were in me from Easter. Then suddenly my hearing came back to me. The first words I heard were unraveling, "Doctor... his bp is rising quickly." The doctor quickly responded, "Give him 20 cc's of anesthesia." I started to feel soporific and then, everything was back to the way it was. I was in a land were sin was impervious. I was in place were humans couldn't emulate. I was in heaven a place above the gates. You are bound by the depths of despair and the relevance of care, I say. You never strove a day and now your the one wearing those shades of grey. Loquaciousness got you nowhere. Now you sit on your ass and wait for the bus of fame that well has unfortunately out lived you in shame. You never tried, so heres god leaving you in-vein. The ones that live with you, you fueled them with shame. And for those who you thought cared, never seemed to stand with you in this ounce of pain. Some great guy I was, huh? I belittled the world, but I never expected the same. You could say I was A famous guy, but now I lye on a mattress awaiting a goodbye. Hola, A bientot, Salam, Shalom, and the final goodbye. I left this earth with one sound buzzing in my ear... It was the sound of a machine beeping for a year. It was the thing that read your future. It wasn't easy never being feared. I just wanted to be that someone, but not even a friend came to me in fear. I mean the fear of me dying and leaving them in tears. Not even a relative and I can’t stress as to why, because I honestly know the answer and this is why. It was because I was selfish and mean. I never cared about anyone except for my dreams. None of them came true, but in the end I was still famous like a full moon. My fame came from a single unit at a hospital, known as code blue. Because I was diagnosed with a disease known as Melanoma. It’s malignant, by the way.  I saw future after that very day. I just wrote my self off in the most peculiar way. No cares. No worries. I just want to live virtually in my own world. I failed, but you don’t need to. Learn from me and care about those who need you. I dreamt of heaven, but the truth is I'm bound on train spiraling all the way down to hell, Phil. 

When the Going Get's Tough

                 Students may not be able to finish school due to the excessive rising of tuition, but has this enabled us to become lazy and dependent? The problem is people are not living up to the original dream they hoped for, or even the “American Dream” they wished they could have reached. People travel from other countries just to learn about the education taught in the United States and coming from different regions around the globe, we must first of all show them that we as Americans are more than capable of living up to this “Dream.” First of all we must figure out what we must do when we fail. Failure in this case is not cause by the failing of a class, but is caused by the fall of this economy. Not only have we needed to make budget cuts throughout all, elementary schools, middle schools, and even reaching high school level. As we can see though, that’s not were it stops. Cal State students, have witnessed a dramatic increase in tuitions leaving them with two options: quite or be in debt. This marked a question arising in my head; why not attend another school? By doing research you will find that it's much tougher to find a school that fits what your demands. It seemed so simple to say I want to go to a cheaper school; but the right choice in the end most definitely seemed to be Cal State. This is what Rivera at the LA Times had to say about the rise in tuition, “Intensified pressure on University of California and Cal State leaders to oppose further fee hikes and education cuts” (Rivera, LA Times). Students, faculty, and other members of different social groups have been protesting and asking to not let these fees affect their futures, but will they? Will we see this drastic increase in tuition ruin many bright, young futures? I will not stand for this and nor should you. 
                 America has fore longed a future with bright young individuals and an increase in tuition will ruin it for the many who cant afford it. Many of those like, Malcom-X, or Martin Luther King Jr. lived parts of their lives in poverty, but they saw the light at the end of the tunnel. They struggled hard and never quite. These bright individuals fought against this corrupt nation. They fought for our rights, but without an education. Without knowing what they needed to do, do you think they could have done it? Tuitions are exuberantly higher than they were 40 to 50 years ago, which means that it will be harder for a young male or women in the ghetto to make it big. This dosent mean you cant go to college. This means the endless process of gang rivalry will recycle though. People think that higher tuition means quitting college or not going to begin with, but there's a famous saying that goes like, if the going gets tough, the tough get going. What have any of you derived from this? It definitely isn't Martin Luther King Jr. quit when he kept getting harassed by the police. It definitely wasn't that Malcom-X quit after being harassed by the millions of Americans for accepting Islam. You need to realize that life is short and to make the books of time, we need to rise up against crime. We need to understand that the words, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness never ceased to exist in the heart's of champions, so why did they in the hearts of the ranting men and women? It's not tough to succeed, and with help it's more than doable. Schools these days are benefiting from these very increases. I say lets stop giving them money. I say lets proclaim our newly founded thoughts and shout till they listen, but who are we to them? Mahatma Gandhi said it best, first they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.W e are being ridiculed by these terrorists because a terrorist is one frightens one. Yes, the UC's and the Cal States have frightened us away and that my friends is terrorism.  They don't care if we drop out, as long as they get a hefty paycheck at the end of the semester they're good.  Do your part and apply for scholarships, apply for grants because in these kinds of days we need that kind structure so we dont fall to these types of terrorists. Remember everyone that when the going gets tough, the tough definitely find their way out of it. 

Learning to See

It is but a dream to see peace in this cruel world, but as we think about Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky’s, ten steps to a better, more satisfying existence, we overlook the wrong that comes out people in this wretched world.  I have chosen one step that probably ranks higher than the nine others. I choose Learning to forgive. Forgiveness is not an easy task for anyone. Many people in this world end their days with grudges against people for probably the stupidest things, I know I have. We should be able to forgive everyone in this world because we don’t know whether or not this will affect us in the long run. If we learn to forgive we will move one step closer to being complete. What I mean by being complete is that we will experience a euphoria that will make us feel alive. For example me, when I forgave a person that I had been keeping a grudge on, for some number of years, it made me feel better. This probably made me the person I am today. We do not have to sit down in a room with the person we forgive and talk to them for hours, we can do this from our room. Say on a phone, through the computer, or even in our hearts. Many people don’t think that this is possible. Forgiveness in the heart rather than in person is not good, but it will help you feel better. That was how I forgave my closest friend's, my family members, and even myself. We can even forgive ourselves because we will never know how to live unless everyone one is forgiven, and if everyone excludes you than what was the point of forgiveness to begin with? We as humans have a soul that speaks to us. In psychology this is called an id, but in many cultures this is a superego, the thing that guides you. When we listen to it we seem to feel regret or failure. To me that was true, at one point I could never go a day without feeling bad about failing at something, or regret doing another thing, but when I learned to forgive that person who did those things I started to cure my self. I became a person that could overachieve. That would not feel bad at failing because that failure only made him a better person. I would never regret doing anything because we only get to live this life once. This was me with forgiveness, but how about before all that, who was I? Was a person no one would talk to? Was a person who was never interacted? When I first began this journey I was just that. I was a person who was lost. I would stay home most of the time. I never knew who I actually was. This was horrible because without knowing who I was or what to do with the rest of my life, I was lost. This is why learning to forgive is very beneficial to a human being because knowing how to forgive will cure many symptoms of depression. It will make you feel happy. I know words are not great descriptions of forgiveness; it is the actions of humans that make a difference. When we see another human being forgive we tend to want the same thing. That person that forgives feels happy so why cant I, you say. This is because you are lost. This is because you are not on the right path of righteousness. It is tough being a human who forgives, but that forgiveness that you do exert, is what will cure you for the rest of what we call a normal human life.

Feeling Free. Just After the Killing of A Bee.

Thrill of living free.  Thrill of killing a bee. Watch me become better than thee. There was a man who raped a man, by the name of Tyre. He climbed into his sleep and slaughtered too many of his sheep. He then made his way down to the barn were young Tyre was at peace.  He was free to think. Free to move. Unlike you or I, this man raped a guy. The sense you'd put into such an act, made us think what a coward and that's a fact. He was afraid to live with the sanction of his actions, so when this malodorous man made his move, raped a man and blew his brains all over his shoes. There is no happy ending to this dream. Sheep died without a mean and a man raped, just so another could feel keen. I myself am displeased that young Tyre had to live life in fear. Fearing society and its very schemes. I'm here to suggest that a man is dead and liberty is very much upheld. You my friends shan't not live in fear because the man who raped me, is the same lying before your ears. I am Tyre, but this story should no make fear. I know death can be very mean. Don’t you think though that there is a thrill in living free; a thrill in killing bee? That bee is my fear and the freedom that I now see is no longer the liberties that you hear.  I want elephants that roam freely. I want forests that sparkle a certain orange. I don’t want mythical animals slain, or gum balls in my rain. I just sometimes wish I could ride this elephant to my death. I want to live free, so peaceful tidings and too all a blessed quest.

Proud Citizens of Mine

The Ousting of Our Own Country

Almost a hundred years ago, my great grandfather roamed the streets of Gaza as if he were a king. He was treated like one for almost his whole life, but a society decided to exile him and his family from their own home, as well as the rest of the Palestinian people. This group was called by many names, but these three still hold up today: Israelis, Jews, and Israelites. My grandfather and my great grandfather were kicked out by a knock on the door and the men that stood behind it, would soon cause the suffering of many Palestinians to come. This one-day though, would be known as Nekba Day.

            To begin with, a few geographic facts: Israel is approximately 290 miles in length and 85 miles in width (“CIA- The World Factbook”.) Gaza on the other hand is only 139 sq. km, which comes out to be 25 miles in length and 4.7 miles in width (“CIA- The World Factbook”.) My great grandfather was a rich man who owned a lot of land, but he after the invasion took place, his lifestyle simply changed. After all the stories that my grandfather had told me about his father and their beloved land, I viewed the Israeli government as nothing more than conniving thieves. My great grandfather, along with his family, which consisted of five kids and a wife, owned the most beautiful land in Palestine. It was approximately seven acres. When the Israeli government entered my great grandfather’s land, they took it over and tore it down, leaving them to live on the streets of what once was theirs. Many people have had that same action done to their lands or homes, but it is not something any of them was proud of. My great grandfather, along with the millions of Palestinians that struggle to live everyday, was forced out of their beloved lands and forced to live in refugee camps in places like: the Gaza strip, the West Bank, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan. These refugee camps in total hold nearly four million seven hundred thousand Palestinian refugees (“jewishvirtuallibrary”.) This was the beginning of a large catastrophe.

            Nearly a century ago we saw freedoms in the city of Gaza as well as the country of Palestine, but today under the rule of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and President Shimon Peres we might never see that once of peace again. During a press conference between Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and President Obama on May 20, 2011, President Obama proposed that the two countries, Palestine and Israel mend their ties and stop the war/genocide that has been going on for nearly a century. The simple response for the re-creation of Palestinian boarders, by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, was that this idea was “indefensible” (“The Medina-Gazette Gazetteonline”.) Indefensible means vulnerable, for a state that has one of the strongest secret military out there, to say indefensible would be overly exaggerated. When a country like Israel says that a territory, as small as Gaza, with a population of about a million people, makes them vulnerable means only means one thing, their scared. This is a question few dare to ask. Also, why is it that Israel with such military strength is scared of people that probably haven’t had any military experience? My great grandfather experienced a miserable fate. He, along with millions of others, are above us waving and wishing us well, but what my grandfather has done to repair my great grandfather’s work is not enough to restore it to its former glory or state of power. My family moved to Syria when they were ousted from Israel, which was formally known as Palestine, and they worked hard to try to restore the glory that they once saw in a country that was once theirs. People like Benjamin Netanyahu or President Shimon Peres have had their days of playing around with a country that seemingly is not theirs. When a person forces themselves onto females without that female expecting them; we in America call it rape. Rape in many countries is illegal, but when we apply that concept to states and countries we only call it strategic thinking or strategic maneuvering which in war is a logic way of beating your opponent. Forcing oneself in any way is seemingly not the right thing to do, but when Israel forced itself into a land that wasn’t theirs, they deny it was ever ours to begin with.

            The West Bank barrier is probably what caused the savage treatment of our people to burn on in our hearts like a flame. A barrier that stretches nearly 760 km across the land is used to separate us from what once was ours. “Ich Bin Ein Berliner,” (Wikipedia) John F. Kennedy once said. This term roughly means, “I am a Berliner”. On July 26, 1963 President John F. Kennedy made a trip to West Berlin to support the Western Berliners who opposed the Berlin Wall. A few years later President Ronald Reagan gave a similar speech to the same group of people saying, “Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This Wall,” and almost three years after that famous speech the Berlin Wall made it’s way down to the ground.  These phenomenal speakers gave inspiration to the people of West Berlin on November 9,1989. This motivational energy that was acquired from both Presidents led the people of Berlin both east and west to see love and peace behind one flag, rather than seeing hatred behind two. One day, with hope, I will see the West Bank barrier also make its way down to the ground. Although without a speech to inspire the people of Palestine and Israel, there probably will not be an ounce of faith left in them to fight that war. This is preposterous because the people of Palestine need an inspirer to lead them on that journey. This is so that one-day they can tear down the wall of the West Bank as those of West Berlin tore down theirs.

My life is a symbolic torch, because as I stand strong I see the person that I never did before, I see my grandfather and his dreams. My grandfather was a small kid looking up to his dad when he needed help. My grandfather was a small kid when he looked up to his mom when he wanted to iron his cloth. My great grandfather was the same man my grandfather was as a kid. My great grandfather wanted to become a revolutionist. He wanted to change the world like many men before him. My grandfather had that chance but because of the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) that was not possible. They came knocking one day, my grandfather told me. A soldier following orders, you might say, but the Israeli Defense Force is much different from any other force in the world. These men and women that serve in this defense force knew what they were signing up for. These men were signing up to kill. What my grandfather told me was that these men and women charged through the front doors of people’s homes if they didn’t open. They would also kill them if they had resisted. “We were the message,” my grandfather kept repeating. It was not till a couple days ago that I understood what that meant. My great grandfather is dead because of the outcomes of this genocide, but it is on Nakba day or the “Day of Sorrow” that we can remember a great men like my great grandfather. I understand now why we are the message. I understand why we must survive to make it to these kinds of days. It is so that we can portray our message. It is so this message of genocide will never be played again.

This legacy that we talk about, belonged to a great man. This man to me was: a believer, a hero, a fighter, and a struggling survivor. This man was my grandfather and the distinct legacy that he left behind for me to see, makes me believe that I as well, can become a revolutionist. To me a revolutionist is a man who changes the future because of its illicit past. I Heesham Naji will change the world. I will become a man who one day, can have an effect on the Palestinian conflict. We the citizens of this world will change to love the Palestinians. I hope that we can do this without killing off its people. I hope that both Palestinians and Israelis will share the land together coinciding side by side. I can only hope, because as I roam this earth, I hope that I one day will never come to face the same fate of ousting, as my grandfather.

The Life and Times part 2

The year after our move to California was the toughest because that year was the year the twin towers collapsed to the ground. Being of Arab decent this was tough. 9/11 truly was a tragedy because the lives that were lost were not worthless; they, to the Muslims, meant everything. Insignificance lies with the beholder of such cruel feelings. Everyone might think that this is a risk. I am a risk, most people would shout. To walk down the streets with all eyes on my family, was more than painful. I loved the people that died even though I never knew them, but all I got from that indescribable love was a curse here and there. Insults kept coming by, but I strived farther and farther with every stride forward. I persevered because I wanted to live a better life. After 9/11 we moved to Tustin Ranch, California and two year afterwards, we moved to Irvine, California, which is the location of my current residence. After High school I moved onto Irvine Valley College, which has made a significant difference on my life today.

Pain is what drives me. With the lack of money in ones life, one comes upon a perspective not known to those of elegant decent. Money is a dire necessity of life, yet all I see in front of me is failure. People with money tend to abuse it and to me abuse equals failure. An abuse of time and resources are my two biggest pet peeves and this some of those elegant people will never see. The problem is I am not that person who succeeds. Thus the reason I question my self constantly about the reasons of failure. I work hard and maybe harder than any other person I know. I have written a novel and yet I struggle to find success, but I will not let opportunities like this pass me by. At the beginning of last year I found an opportunity that would be beneficial to my success. I became the senator of the life sciences and Learning Resources at Irvine Valley College. I volunteered at the University of Irvine Medical Center, which by the way I still do. I also became the Vice President of Pre Med Club. All these things are great, but to me that is not enough.  Success is trying your best and achieving it, for me though this is not my best. I am barley scratching the iceberg of realization. I have also asked myself in the past year about what will become of such a man? Will my legacy end with my name, or will my legacy ever go on to serve this world in a better way? I want to leave this world with a phenomenal imprint. I want to make a difference on everyone, but even though I have attained failure through the lack of my success, I will still try my best to become better than the rest.  What I’ve undergone these past couple of years is stressful at the least, but we all know what it is like to struggle. We the human race, were created on the basis of struggle, birth being an example, but that is not a vindication to take things frivolously. I’m struggling to become that better someone. In the end I wont allow myself to become a failure; I will only allow my self to become a man till the very end. In the very end though I will die with a legacy. I will leave behind the legacy of a writer who died, not in vein, but in a scholarly mindset thinking of why I didn’t beat deaths little game.   

The Life and Times part 1

It all started with my birth. My name is Heesham Naji, but need I really rewind so far back. I wish to entertain you with my successes and accomplishments. Sadly life didn’t go well for me until a year and a half ago. Around the age of four, I moved from Olathe, Kansas to Tallahassee, Florida. My father and mother had no choice but to move due to the economical issues they dealt with. From there, things only seemed to spiral downwards. Another move four years later coerced me into a stressful mind state, leaving my siblings and I confused. Confusion can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. My sibling’s experiences with confusion were unlike mine exponentially. I felt depressed and alone, while my brother and sister faced anxiety and attachment issues. Moving from one school to another left all of us bewildered. At the moment confusion even seemed like a blur, but today I recognize it as strength. This misfortune left me stronger and more mature than many other kids my age. I saw the world differently and I excelled beyond my years. Some teachers thought I was brilliant and had potential, in my eyes this only meant success. After this we moved once again, from Tallahassee, Florida all the way to Anaheim, California. This move only seemed to worsen for me, yet alone my siblings. The home that we moved into, or should I say a two-bedroom apartment, was beyond what I imagined. A family of four cramming into a two-bedroom apartment is bad enough, but with an addition of one more family member things seemed hopeless. The constant housing of our grandparents, who would come all the way from Syria, only seemed to make it worse. With all my heart I love those two and may god rest the soul of my grandpa, but a family of seven could and would verily fall apart in this raunchy home. My brother and I would sleep on the couch and I vividly remember my grandfather struggling to get across the living room, with the help of my grandmother, to use the bathroom. A couple years back my grandfather had been diagnosed with a type of disease known as type 2 diabetes. To me though that disease, that indigenous species to his body, should never have existed. Even though I was ignorant at that age, there was one fact that I could not get over; this was the fact that my grandfather had his left leg amputated. This brings me to my point; we are no more than humans trying to portray the natural course of life, to the best of our abilities, without falling to death. Death sadly though is part of this insidious portrayal of nature and we must face it like the men or women we are.

Societies Full of Demons

It all started with my birth. My name is Heesham Naji, but need I really rewind so far back. I wish to entertain you with my successes and accomplishments. Sadly life didn’t go well for me until a year and a half ago. Around the age of four, I moved from Olathe, Kansas to Tallahassee, Florida. My father and mother had no choice but to move due to the economical issues they dealt with. From there, things only seemed to spiral downwards. Another move four years later coerced me into a stressful mind state, leaving my siblings and I confused. Confusion can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. My sibling’s experiences with confusion were unlike mine exponentially. I felt depressed and alone, while my brother and sister faced anxiety and attachment issues. Moving from one school to another left all of us bewildered. At the moment confusion even seemed like a blur, but today I recognize it as strength. This misfortune left me stronger and more mature than many other kids my age. I saw the world differently and I excelled beyond my years. Some teachers thought I was brilliant and had potential, in my eyes this only meant success. After this we moved once again, from Tallahassee, Florida all the way to Anaheim, California. This move only seemed to worsen for me, yet alone my siblings. The home that we moved into, or should I say a two-bedroom apartment, was beyond what I imagined. A family of four cramming into a two-bedroom apartment is bad enough, but with an addition of one more family member things seemed hopeless. The constant housing of our grandparents, who would come all the way from Syria, only seemed to make it worse. With all my heart I love those two and may god rest the soul of my grandpa, but a family of seven could and would verily fall apart in this raunchy home. My brother and I would sleep on the couch and I vividly remember my grandfather struggling to get across the living room, with the help of my grandmother, to use the bathroom. A couple years back my grandfather had been diagnosed with a type of disease known as type 2 diabetes. To me though that disease, that indigenous species to his body, should never have existed. Even though I was ignorant at that age, there was one fact that I could not get over; this was the fact that my grandfather had his left leg amputated. This brings me to my point; we are no more than humans trying to portray the natural course of life, to the best of our abilities, without falling to death. Death sadly though is part of this insidious portrayal of nature and we must face it like the men or women we are.

The year after our move to California was the toughest because that year was the year the twin towers collapsed to the ground. Being of Arab decent this was tough. 9/11 truly was a tragedy because the lives that were lost were not worthless; they, to the Muslims, meant everything. Insignificance lies with the beholder of such cruel feelings. Everyone might think that this is a risk. I am a risk, most people would shout. To walk down the streets with all eyes on my family, was more than painful. I loved the people that died even though I never knew them, but all I got from that indescribable love was a curse here and there. Insults kept coming by, but I strived farther and farther with every stride forward. I persevered because I wanted to live a better life. After 9/11 we moved to Tustin Ranch, California and two year afterwards, we moved to Irvine, California, which is the location of my current residence. After High school I moved onto Irvine Valley College, which has made a significant difference on my life today.

Pain is what drives me. With the lack of money in ones life, one comes upon a perspective not known to those of elegant decent. Money is a dire necessity of life, yet all I see in front of me is failure. People with money tend to abuse it and to me abuse equals failure. An abuse of time and resources are my two biggest pet peeves and this some of those elegant people will never see. The problem is I am not that person who succeeds. Thus the reason I question my self constantly about the reasons of failure. I work hard and maybe harder than any other person I know. I have written a novel and yet I struggle to find success, but I will not let opportunities like this pass me by. At the beginning of last year I found an opportunity that would be beneficial to my success. I became the senator of the life sciences and Learning Resources at Irvine Valley College. I volunteered at the University of Irvine Medical Center, which by the way I still do. I also became the Vice President of Pre Med Club. All these things are great, but to me that is not enough.  Success is trying your best and achieving it, for me though this is not my best. I am barley scratching the iceberg of realization. I have also asked myself in the past year about what will become of such a man? Will my legacy end with my name, or will my legacy ever go on to serve this world in a better way? I want to leave this world with a phenomenal imprint. I want to make a difference on everyone, but even though I have attained failure through the lack of my success, I will still try my best to become better than the rest.  What I’ve undergone these past couple of years is stressful at the least, but we all know what it is like to struggle. We the human race, were created on the basis of struggle, birth being an example, but that is not a vindication to take things frivolously. I’m struggling to become that better someone. In the end I wont allow myself to become a failure; I will only allow my self to become a man till the very end. In the very end though I will die with a legacy. I will leave behind the legacy of a writer who died, not in vein, but in a scholarly mindset thinking of why I didn’t beat deaths little game.   

The Abnormality of Reality

Abstained from telling the truth. Coerced into thinking that, that was moose. Threatened into believing the words of the man who falsified the truth. They are the lawyers of this world. The ones who tell you what is true and what is not. No complete validation of evidence, just assuming that you did something. It's innocent until proven guilty, am I not right? This justice system makes everything seem fair, but we are hind sighted by the fact that things really aren't. No one person could pin point a lie, even if it was told to your face. Hunches might be true, but can you go around accusing your friends? Say that person was just nervous and wasn't lying, or the person felt uncomfortable telling you about this something. How can we know a person is lying for sure though? We cant, unless you have proof to prove this injustice. Until that proof comes your way, you’re just left with that salvaged thought. You can't believe everything you hear, some say. You can fall into the traps the world sets for you, or you can enjoy the bounty of life without falling into this restraint. What is a lie? A lie is a story that is entirely or partially made up. We sometimes take pleasure in lying. To get what we want. To go places that we've never been. To be with the person that's dearest to our heart, but a lie does not need to exceed the boundaries of fiction.  It is in this apparent world, that we see horses flying and magical elves crying. All this is apparent in this world because we are dreaming. Nothing captivates me more than the falsifications that this world creates.  They make it seem so picture perfect. We are not figments of an imagination, so why do people treat us like we are? We are not in a picture perfect world because the lies are never the actual truth. The world that I live in, the nonfiction is the fiction. The lawyers of this world are so busy doing what they need to do. They are buying things they want to. They are doing things they need to, without the fear of consequence. The consequence is a utopian society. The fiction than becomes your life. The flying horses than become your transportation and those crying elves then become your friends. I am transpired by truth, but never by that lie a human decides to take when they feel like it. I will not tolerate this because I am not fiction. I am the truth, the human flesh that reeks of solid nonfiction. So don’t you feel like its time to tell me about something other than those flying horses that could touch the moon? 

Our Potential is Infinite

There was a day when humans thought they could do something. When humans thought they were everything. Look at this, I’m cutting straight to the point excuse me if I’m rushing, when humans thought of an idea that would spark the world and word got out, what do you think people did? People stole the idea and invented it for themselves. This has been happening for generations, decades, centuries, but we choose to be lazy, we are not programmed to be like this though. We are humans with potential. A great example of selfishness in this society is when an idea so simple, like an eraser or wallet, was taken for granted by this society. We say that we could have thought of such ideas. They’re so easy to create. The question I ask is why you didn't think of it if it was so simple? I can answer this; it is because we didn't think of it. This is because I wasn't paid to think that way, you tell yourself.  Making up excuses wont get you far in this world. When your life is dedicated to creating things that this society needs, then maybe it’s ten times easier to create an object so useful. I agree with most of you, that it's a simple idea, but these ideas had hours of dedication and effort put into each and every one of them. The sad truth though is that most of you never tried. Effort is what we lack as a society. We could become so much, but only if we used that potential. It's extremely terrifying that we live life by the minute. We need to live life three steps ahead. We need to prepare for the worst and expect the best. We can’t move through life making up excuses. Excuses equal failure and failure equals a man or women who humans will never comprehend. If you waste your potential, than life has no meaning. You need to end this now. You need to respectfully escalate to level men and women appreciate. For life is about mistakes and excuses, but if we exaggerate exuberantly then maybe you deserve nothing than a paper box to cover your head and your ears from a painful vernacular disease.